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I used to joke with my wife that ‘if only you’d lower your expectations I could be the man of your dreams’. Cute right? Not that there aren’t character issues that I need to work on, but according to this article by F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W., I may have been on to something:

A colleague sent me a copy of a recent study that addresses the question. In it, a group of psychologists from Northwestern University and the University of Chicago say the problem may not be in the relationship, but in our expectations. If you are in a relationship that, like Tony and Wendy’s, looks good from the outside but seems to be crumbling from the inside, your own expectations and your partner’s may be at least partly to blame. Instead of making you feel good about yourself, if your marriage is destroying your self-esteem, these authors suggest again…

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