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Archive for April, 2019

Body Language 25 Ears and Hearing

Interpreting the body language associated with ears is challenging activity. For the most part, ears are receivers of information rather than providers. Ears rarely move; they are just stuck on the side of the head to enable listening. However, if you know how to observe them, ears can send some strong signals about what is going on with a person.

You can wiggle your ears by contracting the muscles on the back of your head. Other than that, ears do not move much. One exception was my father, who could actually wiggle his ears without moving his facial muscles. I could never figure out how he did that.

If you observe someone who is wiggling his ears while listening or speaking, he may have an uncontrollable tick or other nervous disorder. How else, other than movement, might we gain insight from observing the ears? The answer is color.

Normally the…

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beginning to understand…

beginning to understand…

Tao of Nature…

Known is a drop, Unknown is an Ocean

Does not contend, yet easily wins.
Does not speak, yet always responds.
Does not summon, yet all things gather.
Does not contemplate as if at ease,
Yet all plans were devised perfectly.

The Law of Nature is like a giant web, although sparsely meshed, nothing can slip through.

~ Lao Tzu in “Tao Te Ching”

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Lalitha’s golden Heart!

Shankara!

Approximately 3 years back, in 2016, Uma Ram flew into Los Angeles to meet her sister and her many friends in LA. She used to live in LA for many years before she shifted her residence to Cincinatti in Ohio.

Uma informed me about this and said she would like to meet me. We had not met in person, although we were acquainted with each other for a few years through the Sage of Kanchi group in Facebook. So, she invited me and my wife for lunch at the home of her good friend Lalitha Balu.

My wife and me drove 35 miles to the home of Lalitha and Balu. Until that time we had not known or had met this couple. But I was blown away by the hospitality shown by them. Lalitha had prepared a sumptuous meal for us with many,many tasty items. And specially, she served us…

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The Ratchet Effect

Trust BarometerA few years ago, I built a kind of Rube Goldberg invention that I call my “Trust Barometer.” It has a ratchet with a handle and a crank so that I can wind up a weight suspended by a string and I have a scale showing how much trust is in a relationship.

Trust is similar to a bank account we have with people. There is a balance of trust at any point in time, and we can make deposits that increase the balance, or we can make withdrawals that reduce the balance.

Of course, the idea is to keep the balance as high as possible, and then we will enjoy the benefits of high trust with that person.

The barometer works well to illustrate an important principle. Trust is usually gained in small steps like the individual clicks of a ratchet, so over time we build up trust with…

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Ten Concrete Steps to Rebuild Trust

Several authors (including Stephen M.R. Covey) have suggested that trust between people is like a bank account. The balance is what determines the level of trust at any point in time, and it is directional.

I might trust you today more than you trust me. We make deposits and withdrawals in the trust account nearly every day with the things we say and do. Usually the deposits are made in small steps that add up to a large balance over time.

Unfortunately, withdrawals can be massive due to what I call “The Ratchet Effect.” All prior trust may be wiped out quickly. Nobody is happy when trust is lost.

I believe trust withdrawals can lead to a long term higher level of trust if they are handled well. Just as in a marriage when there is a major falling out, if the situation is handled well by both parties in…

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